so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize