I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
