im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
