i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
