What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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