he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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