We won't sleep together?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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