and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
