Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
