He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
