you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
