Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
