Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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