I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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