Whod you bang
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Randomize
