That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
