escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
