What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
