Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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