dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The adults are the big ones right?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
