When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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