I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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