Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
