if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
