What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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