It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
