An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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