Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You made out with two different species that night
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
