But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
