i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
