We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
