My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
