I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
