If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
