You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
