is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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