I'm eating all of the evidence.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize