When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
