Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
