Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize