I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
