i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
