Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
