On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
did you just send me my own nude
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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