I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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