I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Slut skills are useful in every country.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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