i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I will be naked everywhere
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
