she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
