I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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