I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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