I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Maybe he injected his testicle?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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