I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
