1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Having a random hookup so left but love u
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
