I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
