I hate all girls vehemently.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
