I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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