I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
