she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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