OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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