so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
