My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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