erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
